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Sunday, May 5, 2024

Memory’s Searing Scars

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Pratisara Sayam

Today’s tragic fires
thicken with a residue of tears
All my painful memories
burnt away
Fearing someone might notice
the leaking drops,
I painted my face with a pleasant smile
and exchanged my solitude
for the daily grind, though in the loneliness of night
it nudges me – my sleep so torn through
I cannot even hold fast to dreams
Memories as soft as raw cotton moist with pain
prick like thorns, piercing the heart
and then again the heart
If pain doesn’t evaporate with sighs,
If it doesn’t flow away with tears
I may yet turn to a rock like solid ash
When sighs gently cares my hair
I gather and secure their affection with my belt
mixing myself with tears
I tried to plug the hole in my leaking heart
I tried, while others consoled me
to reach the shores of forgetting
to forget that tragic past
I washed from the slate of my heart
my memories, that even from the present
I might vanish. But you know how memory is!
Forgetfulness doesn’t easily come
it remains like a scab
hot within
as in an ever burning fire

Translated from Nepalbhasa by Wayne Amtzis and Pratisara Sayami

Pratisara Saymi (b. 1955) is a poet of Nepalbhasa. Her published works include Ji Chhku Nalis Bhoun, Soma Ha: Wa Memegu Bakhamta, Tikinangu-M I, Unaiko Yadma (CD), Tiki-Nuga:ya Lasay (CD) and a few others. Many of her works have been translated into Nepali, English and other languages.

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