Ayush Thapa Magar
Why? Why? Why are you taught to suppress your tears, emotions and just play a superhero’s role just because you are a man? Why are you taught to be the pillar of the family only because you are a man? Why your confidence and dignity are questioned just because you are not muscular?
These are the sentiments and these are the people because of whom men are forced to draw their lines; lines on expressing, and most importantly, their lines on who they are as a person and not as a gender.
Now, where do you think all of these has started? Nowhere, but from your home only. We are taught the same stereotypical and societal norms from our home. Yes, the society has failed already when showing aggression has become cool and showing emotions, a shame, a weak. Men being dominating and causing domestic violence, becomes a personal problem, but so ironic that it is the exact same society who runs slogans to empower women. It is because of the toxic masculinity that has made people think that it is okay to harm your own woman since you are a man. Toxic masculinity, on the other hand, causes on to act in a way the society wants a man to act. He is not allowed to show his emotion, share his dark time and cry in someone’s shoulder. He is stereotyped to be strong, both physically and mentally. He is taught (by the society) to hide whatever is under the mask. Such kind of act causes one to get anxiety, depression, substance abuse, suicide, and many more. What could be anything worse than seeing a man in a depression, and that too in a society where talking about mental health is a taboo, and avoiding conversations about problems or emotions is just going to increase their feelings of isolation and make them lonelier? Not all wounds are so visible, and this is where the society has always failed to look at.
Emotional literacy is what has been missing always. This needs to be taught and passed from generation to generation that being emotional doesn’t make you any less of a man, asking for help doesn’t question your pride, sharing your soft corner doesn’t question your masculinity, and being a feminist doesn’t incline you more as a woman. We need to understand that not everything we see, is a reality, and that, it is very important to channel male innate energy into positive. Learn to free yourself up from the traditional masculine stereotypes, and learn that it is beautiful to listen to your guy friend, his problems and support him emotionally, and just not let one suffer in silent. We need to understand that it is powerful to be vulnerable, and that is what creates authenticity and a happier, healthier and more honest world.
[Ayush Thapa Magar is a BBA student at Kathmandu University School of Management (KUSOM). He loves to express his views and thoughts through his pieces of writings. He is an enthusiast who aims to make a difference in the stereotyped society.]
