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Friday, November 22, 2024

Is Sexist Considered the New Sexy?

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Neha Jha

Thanks to the ongoing pandemic, we have a pretty cyclical routine and we are kind of getting used to this life in our own different ways—the lying on the couch, the binging on snacks, the critiquing of movies, the laughing at memes. We do come up with new and creative, pretty and productive ideas now and again only to fall back to the regular rut. One key aspect of this rut is the utter engagement with social media. I am not an exception, but I have certain reservations with how many sexist things are placed on those media without any proper thoughts, as if sexist is now the new sexy.  

Yesterday, I woke up and grabbed my phone and went through everything on my four frequently used apps (The big four I call them; you know what they are). Unfortunately not to my surprise, all I saw on my feed were sexist memes being shared over and over. All it took was a scroll down. 

The one meme that struck a nerve was the “Go back to the kitchen.” Isn’t this a pinnacle of its own for disrespecting women? All these years of revolution and here we still are claiming her belongingness only in the kitchen.  Another one that triggered me was the “Before lock down and after lockdown,” pictures where a woman’s facial hair growth is the subject of mockery. How does this not pass the creator’s mind that these memes directly harm a woman’s feeling who might be actually suffering from some medical condition of facial hair growth? Do the creators not have a sort of pre-filter before something gets posted? Do they not realize how cruel it is sharing an extremely sexist meme objectifying women who might already be suffering in this time of pandemic because of her surrounding or the house she lives in or maybe because of her abusive husband and/or a controlling son?

But unfortunately, it is not just the creator’s blunder. Perhaps the greater fault is the audience’s. People are finding it funny and sharing it as there seems to be this misconception that meter of their coolness is proportional to the number of sexist meme they share. People still seem to think that sharing these misogynistic memes will make them look sexy inside their friend circle or to the girls in their social company. Why do memes that generalize women as poor drivers get so many re-tweets? Why are they calling out feminist in public like it’s so shameful? It seems to me that what they are overlooking is that the casual circulation of such memes authenticates the already strong norms of patriarchy in all men consciously or unconsciously

The pandemic has already made our life difficult, especially for our country. If you live in a patriarchal family then the pressure is even more, especially on girls. They want to turn to social media for some relief, but what do they gain? Again, a sense of failure? A feeling that their fight is a lost cry? So, ultimately, instead of being a much needed source of hope, social media, with such sexist memes, emerge as a disgusting thing for those individuals who are trying to take one difficult step at a time and trying to fight back.

In today’s world, we are all influencers. We are posting something and there are certain groups of people that follow us. We are being heard and constantly watched. We need to realize that we are being judged publicly and our single, poorly executed post can and probably will cause a great problem for conditioning the minds for the people who are to be trying to learn and grow. This is a fact even more important  for consideration by the creators. 

In lieu of all the good contents and relief we try and can provide to each other on social media, we really can be oblivious at times, regarding what works, what matters and what is needed. In fact, it is really easy to set aside your morals and convictions at a time of hardship. It is really easy to forget who you were before this and who you are growing to become with such sexist memes. 

But, is it really worthwhile? 

[Neha is pursuing her MA in Gender Studies from K&K College, Kathmandu. She takes interest in traveling and studying the society, and bringing her observations into writing.]

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