I had never thought of literature posing a challenge to my inner conscience, a challenge that many a time I had to resist, give up, fight back, and sometimes simply give in. The MPhil in English has provided a mix of these feelings and challenges that I rarely experience in my daily life. Though stressful and always working on deadlines, this decision to pursue a research-level degree has certainly refined me as an individual with a certain degree of intellect. As I write this reflection, this won’t be about my entire MPhil experience but about a specific subject and the course instructor. From English in the 21st century, South Asian Cities to Independent Studies, our course instructor, Dr. Komal Phuyal, has scolded me, encouraged me, guided me, and put his hopes on me. The first semester was confusing, and honestly, I did not know how to comprehend all the course materials and assignments, but now that I look back, it is nothing compared to the pressure I am feeling in the 3rd semester. The second semester was hectic to the next level, because I had never thought of cities as a part of literature. Comprehending city studies, finding a regulated and common ground for literary analysis and criticism was like the nails on your bed; you must sleep, but it pokes. Now, how much poking can you endure, and how many arguments can you create from each poke to determine your resistance power? In my case, plenty of sleepless nights, compromises in my family life, creative lies at my workplace for leaves, sheer endurance from within, and hard work that earned my assignments fair marks within the time limits. One of the Science teachers at the school where I teach has written in large font above the whiteboard, “No Pressure, No Diamonds.” Throughout my Moodle visits, city, and independent classes, that quote actually rang a bell. Pressures are good; they drain you, to train you to become the you that you never imagined while sitting in comfort zones. Dr. Phuyal’s classes have been like the rooms with thorns, and developing a strategy to turn each thorn into a flower was his good intention to train us to walk confidently and intellectually in the academic field. So, next time I hear anybody berating literature and questioning its capacity for complexity, I will suggest they take Dr. Phuyal’s class and experience the intricacies and aesthetics of teaching, learning, and writing literature.
In South Asian Cities, I published an article on Arundhati Roy’s The Ministry of Utmost Happiness under Dr. Phuyal’s guidance. Dissecting Roy’s book through a South Asian city perspective was a nascent project, and I learned about various scholarly works in the domain of city studies. Having lived in city spaces, I could never understand why people always debated choosing the escape to rurality over the facilitative cities. Rural spaces have their own value, but it is within the city spaces that people learn to become something out of the box. Cities do not belong to any one specific group. It welcomes all, and everyone can struggle to achieve a certain level of success, whether in material or professional terms. My paper analyzed the right of everyone to enter the city and access the space where they can grow, struggle, and invent things. The publication of the paper delighted and intrigued me about what’s next. We are groomed in our independent class regarding this very concept of what is next. The end of one theory and one book is the starting point for the same book from another theory, or the same writer is examined through various other interpretations and approaches. I genuinely liked this concept: we are supposed to prepare reading notes, and with those notes, we can create multiple papers. This concept is smart and benefits students in academic writing and publishing. The Note, Quote, and Reflection provide clear strategies for writing our papers and for redesigning them for the final edit. In this regard, I, too, have pending reading notes eagerly awaiting rework. So, what I learned with Dr. Phuyal has also advanced to writing and publishing.
One thing I respect and admire about our Independent Studies course instructor is that he is accessible and there to help us. With his criticism and constructive remarks, and very straightforward suggestions, we, as novice scholars, have clear frameworks to work on. I believe that when we can express our views easily and welcome critical comments, we enter an academic sphere where we nurture ourselves and help others, too. This is the type of environment and discourses that we constantly experience in our independent course. Actually, the Independent Studies do not have a specific course framework or syllabus; as the name suggests, they are independent of a confined curriculum. However, I must express my gratitude to Dr. Phuyal and his team of subject committee members, who have provided the structure for this course. Our course instructor has assigned us four basic tasks to structure and systematize our independent studies. Our work is divided into a dissertation proposal, a group paper with our instructor, a reflection paper, and a separate independent paper we must write on our own. As a full-time working mother and a daughter-in-law of a full-fledged Newari family, I struggle to meet the deadline. But I know these are just excuses, and we must go beyond our excuses in the MPhil degree. And going beyond our excuses is another lesson we have learned from our independent class. This is primarily because, along with the scholars, our instructor is working equally hard to meet deadlines and to lead and groom us, despite his health complications and busy schedule. Dr. Phuyal’s reflection on everyone working hard, rigorously, and constantly, inspires me to wipe out my excuses of domesticity, motherhood, and office work, and let the midnight lamp turn on.
Project number 1 involved selecting the text and writing a thesis proposal. This is where I had to demonstrate my core competencies and prove my ability to be in academia. However, doubts never tend to leave human beings. I had doubts about which text to choose and which critical lens would be appropriate if I chose one. I love reading Plath and have read The Bell Jar. I liked the novel. It is a masterpiece. But I could not find a new critical framework for analysis. In my doubts and confusion, Dr. Phuyal came to my rescue and recommended that I work on Parijat’s texts. And once I was introduced to the realm of Parijat, I think it will stay with me for a very long time. I have read Parijat, everyone has, I guess. But I had read only The Blue Mimosa. Now, I know that Parijat’s storytelling lies beyond her signature novel. Hence, I decided to work on Parijat’s four novels for my thesis and to take a New Historicist approach to analyze them. I submitted my first and second drafts of the proposal, which got accepted; however, the final one struggled a bit to get a green signal. Nevertheless, our instructor’s constant comments and feedback helped me shape the proposal into the final one. I feel that the way I learned to write a thesis proposal in my M. A degree was obtained in a very rough and unsystematic way. This time, writing the thesis proposal was systematic, as we were given a specific pattern to follow in the first draft. Then, in the second draft, our instructor added a few more headings and wrote more paragraphs. In the final proposal, we were given the final format, and the thesis proposal gradually took its final shape. For me, the most difficult part was finding a reliable literature review, because recently, due to the overuse of AI, many scholarships are also under constant scrutiny for AI use. So, the use of AI has certainly brought benefits to technical support but has also raised problems and literary crises we did not anticipate. Thus, citing articles that used AI-generated arguments would make my article also have a certain degree of AI, even though I have not used any. This is a difficult situation. To be very clear about this problem, Dr. Phuyal suggested we do in-depth research on the researchers. Visiting the Google Scholar profiles of researchers, knowing their area of interest, their publications in journals, articles with or without DOIs, the types and quality of journals, and many other points to consider before quoting works of available research and scholarship. This is not to demean or find flaws in someone’s work, but to save our own work and avoid plagiarism or AI detection. I had never considered this strategy to improve my research, making it better, more reliable, and more authentic for future scholarships. Today, nothing can hide from the internet. Once it’s on the web, it stays there. Thus, choosing to do the honest thing, being alert to any kind of scam research papers, and maintaining academic discipline are major points I have learned from the independent class.
The use of AI in research is growing. As people are willing to be involved in literature and the academic field, our work must be clear of AI reach. To address our confusion on the use of AI and the growing use of AI, Dr. Phuyal organized a seminar on using AI in research. And it is a complete no. So, where do we use AI? It is a great tool for learning, but not for writing. It is a helpful tool for generating ideas, but not for implementing them. Thus, AI can be used to gather information, locate resources, and address technical glitches. But one might think that nobody will know about the use of AI if we copy and paste. This is where we are wrong. Software like iThenticate is a powerful tool that can detect AI-generated content and bring embarrassment to our scholarship. Consequently, academic honesty and discipline are the only virtues we need to have to conduct credible research and contribute to our respective fields. Now, where would we learn things like these? These are the concepts generated through discussions and taught in our independent class, where we learned about the ethical use of AI and a lesson about depending on no one but ourselves. The AI seminar and the discussion in the module were also a kind of warning to us, forbidding us to use any AI that compromises our originality. The hundred points of False Positives were really helpful for me to learn how to tackle the similarity index when it comes to literary research. Dr. Phuyal uploaded 100 points to consider and be aware of these research dilemmas in our thesis writing. The independent class was a foundational class that supported our research areas in other subjects of the MPhil as well.
Literary studies and their complexities in research and scholarship are intricate if we are not digitally proficient and are not acquainted with the processes of acquiring resources and information. In our class, in addition to the course requirements and routine work, we are also given guidance on identifying and using reliable sources for our research. Our instructor provided insights on how to obtain PDFs of research papers, which we would have to pay for. Exploring various open portals and digging deep into the internet to find the required documents and texts was also an interesting part of the learning. The best part was learning Google’s NOTEBOOK LM. We can upload documents and generate video summaries, mind maps, podcasts, and much more. This makes learning easy and interesting. I have also used these tools in my own teaching, and students are stunned by the kind of up-to-date digital learning I brought to the mundane classroom. The things I am learning in my independent classes are also being applied to other scenarios with different sets of students. I think it is fascinating, moving from learning to teaching, and knowing that I am making a difference, even in the smallest ways.
Another important task that most scholars find difficult is the citation section. Scholars in Humanities are to use MLA 9th for their in-text citation, and the works cited section of the research paper. The constant changes to the rules and regulations in the citation section can be confusing and hectic when we are unable to manage the list of works cited. Our course instructor addressed this dilemma and the complexity of research with a simple, intelligible solution. Number one is listing the working bibliography is a must. We can simply use research-helping tools like Consensus.AI to enter the title of the research paper or the author’s name, and ask it to provide any number of bibliography lists for the research. It then generates a list of documents available on the web, consolidates them in one place within the MLA 9th edition guidance, and provides links to the original sites or sources. Even if we make mistakes in our citations, we can use these digital tools to format them according to MLA, APA, or any other required guidelines.
As I saw a quote somewhere on the internet: “You are here to learn to ride a bicycle, not to invent them.” It resonates with what we as MPhil scholars go through. Often, we feel pressured to constantly invent something, but in reality, we just need zeal and diligence to learn. Thus, learning in English Studies, South Asian, and independent classes has been a rollercoaster ride. We are now in the middle of that exciting ride, working hard to reach that restful state. When we come out of the ride, I am sure we will all have intellectual charm. This charm will be the product of rigorous mentoring, instructions, and monitoring that we experienced in our class.
The list of admiration continues as Dr. Phuyal is also writing a joint paper with all 23 students of the 2080 MPhil batch at NOU. For my team, I am writing with Dr. Phuyal and one of my senior colleagues, Balajit Rai. Fortunately, my joint paper is also on Parijat, which will certainly provide greater insight into Parijat’s study and offer a valuable learning opportunity while writing together. I am to work on the Review section and part of the analysis. We are using Google Docs as a common platform for our collaborative work. I feel this is what makes being in the Independent class unique. We are being taught, we are writing together, we are scolded sometimes, we are redirected many times, and we are inspired to crawl our way to the destination, i.e., completing the MPhil degree and leaving a mark in the research field. The joint paper will be submitted for publication, and I will have one more chance at updating my Google Scholar profile. So, that is what an independent class has provided us: a chance to expand and inspire.
I am planning to write my final independent paper focusing on Parijat’s and Camus’s characters and comparing them through a critical approach advocated by Hannah Arendt. I am researching which approach to take and how to bring together two prominent writers of West Asian and South Asian literature. This project, for now, is in a very raw form. I plan to be decisive about it and consider other texts as well as those in my area of interest. I read Camus when I was just a high schooler. In his The Stranger and The Myth of Sisyphus, I discovered a way of writing that reflects how we, as common people, frequently come up with. At that time, his absurdism intrigued me. However, I could not write about Camus; I could only read about him. Similarly, Parijat also came into my life when I was studying BA.I read the English translation, The Blue Mimosa, and I was awe-stricken by the words and the narrative. After about 18 years, I am reading Parijat again, and I have made a promise to myself that I will be with her and her texts till I am in academia. I am reading Parijat today, and my comprehension is looking at life and society. This independent paper will be my sole work and the one closest to my heart. In addition, I look forward to shaping it into a publishable work.
The independent class has become extra special for me and Maya mam, my colleague in this class. Dr. Phuyal selected two of us to present our papers on Parijat at the upcoming national conference happening in July, organized by Social Science Baha. I have chosen Parijat’s Mahattaheen and Anido Pahadsangai to present at the panel. I am going to look at these texts through the lens of New Historicism. Stephan Greenblatt’s theory of literature as a prominent tool for representing the historical events and setting of the contemporary period will be applied to scrutinize the text. I have identified a research gap that Parijat’s work addresses through a new-historic perspective, which has rarely been done. And I depart from current scholarship on Parijat, aiming to present a fresh perspective on the legendary writer and her texts. This is going to be a comprehensive paper, and I believe it will certainly be a remarkable experience for me. I have attended only the Grad conference during my MPhil, and have not had the opportunity to attend any national conferences. I am excited to present my paper, get comments, and add a lifetime experience to my portfolio.
In my interactions with our course instructor at the beginning of M. Phil, most of the time I was nervous and anxious that I might make mistakes, but my nervousness eventually turned into confidence. From nervousness to confidence is not my sole achievement. Dr. Phuyal has groomed each scholar with his critical and constructive commentary. I remember when I did my presentation for South Asian Cities, I focused on squatter communities in Kathmandu, which didn’t really address the real issue of squatters, and my presentation was kind of clichéd and right-wing in its representation. My instructor’s words really made me realize that I needed to research more. In the same semester, I published an article, somehow related to squatter communities in South Asian Cities. Thus, criticism and right instruction can help us become better. I am always amazed by the breadth of knowledge and the depth of my course instructor’s literary research. His guidance and mentorship have shaped us to think critically, question, and establish ourselves as people with intellectual arrogance.
My plans include completing an in-depth and fruitful dissertation and graduating from NOU with good grades. So far, I have not had the opportunity to teach at the campus level. To be involved in campus-level teaching would be my next goal. With my degree in hand, I hope to explore research and university teaching. Until my goals are fulfilled, I plan to reflect on the work I can do at present. For now, my focus is on Parijat’s study, as I am writing my thesis, a joint paper, and a conference paper for Social Science Baha on different novels by Parijat. As advised by Dr. Phuyal, I could contribute to the scholarship available on Parijat on a larger scale and expand my research to the doctoral level as well. I have seriously considered this advice because I have always wanted to work on the works of women writers. Some of my plans include exploring Parijat’s poems and stories after making a comprehensive understanding of her fictions. I have not investigated her other genres, as for now, I am fixated on her four novels and Stephan Greenblatt’s theoretical frameworks. Gathering as much literature and resources on her works, contacting Parijat Smriti Kendra, finding online and concrete secondary data, staying under Dr. Phuyal’s mentorship, and planning for my thesis and conference paper are the priorities for the next 3-6 months.
“What would Parijat write today?”- Trials and Speculations. This is the title of my essay, or a collection of short stories that I plan to write if I ever step into the field of writing fiction. It is surely difficult to achieve the Parijat aura, but this would be my personal reverence, a subtle tribute to her. This is something that clicked in my mind while reading Under the Sleepless Mountain. I don’t plan to write like her, but write for her because she has written for us, for our history, and our society. I have encountered numerous women in my life, and each has an untold story, tears, struggles, and achievements. Taking their silent stories, I would like to pay homage to Parijat, as she has always stood for the unheard people and untold stories. Parijat, best known for her Marxist leanings and existential influences, deals with so much more. Having read Under the Sleepless Mountain and Mahattaheen, I have realized she dissects the human psyche and human society. This dissection reveals the decadence of society, human reality, and the need for change and revolution. Her disability does not stop her from denying life and its intricacies. She portrays her characters mirroring herself, her opposite self, and the self of society and the country as well. I have also realized that nature plays an important role in Parijat’s works. Gorimaya and Suwani’s mountain identity, the Begumkali flowers in front of the anti-hero’s house, and the continuous presence of nature in the novels make the novels deeply nature-influenced. I have yet to read any other novels by Parijat, and I feel that this journey of reading her work will be a sustainable, long-lasting relationship with her words and themes. Thus, for introducing Parijat to me, encouraging me to be a rigorous scholar on Parijat’s works, and also for this idea of fiction writing, which would not have clicked in me if I had not been exposed to her masterpieces, and for all of this, I am ever thankful to my course instructor and mentor, Dr. Komal Phuyal.
While I am writing this reflection, a surge of gratitude comes to my mind and heart. I know that thanking too much and showing excessive gratitude can be misunderstood as an act of pleasing and a strategy to win things in one’s favor. However, sometimes in life, you genuinely are grateful to some people for their guidance and support, their words, their mentorship, and simply for their effort to reflect on your individual capabilities and the contributions you could make to society. Support does not always come in complement; it is hugely presented through consistent follow-up, pressure, and deadlines. My personal experience with the independent class is filled with such pressures and deadlines, and I am grateful for them. These projects and pressures have taken me to the intellectual luxury of research and studies. Finally, every time I am working, my 7-year-old son wants me to take a break and enjoy it a little bit, rather than staying on my laptop. I simply plan to take out some time for the family; I plan to cook a good meal and enjoy a nice dinner. I cuddle my son every time he comes to me and get back to my laptop because my 2026 is filled with Parijat and her words. And I plan to cherish them.
M.Phil Scholar, NOU
Originally Dated: 31 December 2025
