Reading Literature Means Delving into Social Issues: Kumari Lama

[Kumari Lama is one of those very few critics and essayists who ascended to the helm of fame quite early in life. A post-graduate in English literature, Lama is author of Ujyalo Andhakar, a collection of essays. Besides this book-size delivery, she has published several isolated essays, research papers, book reviews and critical and theoretical articles. A lecturer of English at Tribhuvan University, Ms. Lama is admired for her frank advocacy for social justice, inclusive democracy and equality. Uday Adhikari of The Gokha Times had a conversation with Ms. Lama. Presented herewith is the edited excerpt of the conversation.]  

You were born and brought up in Dhading district that boarders Tibet, a part of China now. Your birth place, I think, is neither close nor far from Kathmandu called Yambu in your mother tongue. How was your childhood? 

Though I belong to Dhading, one interesting thing is that I was born in Dhankuta Hospital. It happened due to my father’s work in that area then. Actually, my village Dhunibesi is rather close to Yambu (Kathmandu); it is just 40 to 50 minutes’ ride.

To talk about my childhood, it was quite ordinary like that of every other child. However, I think I was rather a lonely child. Since my parents left me in my maternal aunt’s house in Dharan for my study, I got distanced from my parents and siblings for long. I studied there up to grade two. I was detached and left alone. In that sense, I had a feeling of loss; mostly, I used to miss my mother. I felt the sourness of separation since my childhood. I always longed for togetherness and love. Possibly that was the seed to my creative self.

You seem to be a straightforward student. How did you pick up the habit of reading? Was there any inspiration at home or the school you were attending?

To tell you the truth, I was such a course-bookish student that I used to get a lot of attention and appreciations from teachers and friends. But I never got a chance to read extra books in my childhood days. I had no privilege of picking up the habit of reading since I never encountered a single extra book at home. My father wanted us to study hard because of his own unexpressed pain of being uneducated; my mother was always busy looking after three children.

I got inspiration for reading extra books from nowhere. Nevertheless, my school (Pashupati Mitra Madhyamik Vidhyalaya, Chabahil) used to involve students into some extracurricular activities. I was a quiet girl but had good analytical skills. I used to take parts in speech and essay writings competitions and bagged prizes. In one of the competitions when I stood first, I got Laxmi Nibandha Sangraha and some stationery stuffs as gift (I still have that book: it’s a treasure for me). I read the collection of essay whole-heartedly even though I could not get most of them. It was the first literary book I got when I was in grade 10.  

What drew you towards writing? Did it happen earlier or just after leaving your village?

I cannot tell you in concrete manner what drew me towards writing. Possibly the different facets of life, experiences, socio-political situations, my consciousness and much more that dragged me towards writing.

It happened very late after I completed M.A. and started teaching in colleges. I encountered favorable literary environment in one of the colleges I worked that ignited my creative sides. However, after SLC I had started reading literature. I remember the first novel I read was Sirishko Phool (Parijat). I could not get through it but got so influenced by Bari’s character. Another book was BP’s collection of stories, Swet Bhairabi. When I look back I feel good that unknowingly I happened to pick good books. One more thing I would like to add: I used to write diary in my school days. I regret that I destroyed all of them. How nice it would be if I had kept them…

Your mother tongue is Tamang. Your friend Bina Theeng and my friend Moktan Thewa write in Tamang and Nepali simultaneously but you write in Nepali and English. Your case is very similar to a famous poet of our generation and my good friend Srawan Mukarung who can’t express himself fully in writing in his mother tongue, Bantawa. It is a loss we know but it happens. How did you lose your firm grip on your mother tongue? Any remorse or anger for not having expressed in Tamang?

I know it’s a great loss. I highly appreciate them who have been writing in their mother tongue. My upbringing was a bit different. I have already mentioned that I was born and raised in eastern part of Nepal. My maternal uncle’s locality was surrounded by Rai, Limbu and Chhetri-Brahmin rather than the Tamangs. I was raised in multicultural environment that supported to distance me from my mother tongue. Besides that during my childhood I was far away from my mother who would have spoken to me in our language. Later when I came to Dhading, it was again a different scenario; a hilly remote village just opposite to the place I spent 8/9 years. By then I had already lost the grip of mother tongue: I could not pick it there onwards.

It’s neither anger nor remorse: it’s above that. Now I am unable to go through the best literature written in Tamang Language. It’s a huge loss.

First time I saw you in Chitwan, Prakash Sayami introduced you as a good reader and probably it was late fifties. Kalika Fm was organizing an international Nepali literature festival and Prakashji was station manage and I was helping him for the festival. You were just a reader and sounded very enthusiast about literature. You were in group and I sensed that the group was in touch with Sayami. I wonder if there was such readers and writers circle in Kathmandu.

Thank you for reminding the beautiful memory. It was early sixties to correct you. Attending Kalika FM’s program was such a wonderful experience that gave me a chance to meet many literary figures and aspiring poets. I met you there for the first time. 

I was gradually inclined towards Nepali literature and writers in early and mid-sixties. I got good companionship of poet Dr. Geeta Tripathee who acknowledged my creative part and suggested me to write. I still remember when I met her in the college premise (where we worked together) I was holding Alice Walker’s The Color Purple in my hand. When she inquired about the book, I narrated the story straightaway. She was astounded by my narration that she thereon advised me to express that in my writings (I am always grateful to her for her right suggestion).

Prakash Sayami is a wonderful poet as well as an avid reader who flooded me with amazing books from around the world. He was one of the literary persons who introduced me with amazing books. He used to lend me lots of books. He is such a generous person who also gifts book to his friends. I still have some books he had gifted me. In fact, I started reading Shankar Lamichhane more seriously after I got in touch with him. So, though there was not a big reader circle I was in touch but some persons have helped to enhance my reading habits. 

You left your village and entered Yambu. How was your experience in being in big city like Kathmandu? How was your college life? Was that the time you thought of entering the literary life? What fascinated you in writing?

 You know that big cities carry certain attitude towards newcomers. I felt myself as an outsider in the beginning. However, everyone gets some space in Yambu: it’s up-to you how you want to be treated. Michel de Certeau, Virginia Woolf, Parijat and Orhan Pamuk talk lot about cities (both in fiction and nonfiction) and I am much convinced by their view. Big cities are always easy as well as much tougher to approach.

 My college life was a kind of rush-hush time. I could not be a full time student as I always had to leave the last class for my job. I had started teaching in a school soon after I passed SLC. However, I was always engrossed by the curiosity, excitement and glitter of the city that I chopped my long hair so short, which resulted into a serious conflict between me and my father. I have portrayed the experience in a writing that is compiled in Telling a Tale edited by Dr. Archana Thapa.

I have already talked about my writing journey. It happened only after I completed my Masters and started teaching in the colleges.

You were the student of literature, you did MA in English literature, and it is understandable. You left Nepal for London for further education. I was confused when I heard you were doing some sort of management course. Was that your interest or just you wanted to leave the country?

Indeed, I did my Masters in English literature from Tribhuvan University, Nepal and have completed MBA in Human Resource Management from Britain. I went London for further study but I wanted a break as well from the circumstances I was surrounded by. I was devastated by the accidental death of my father. Nonetheless, I got a chance to explore different educational system as well as various life experiences in London.  

How was your England life? You were in the place which you had been reading and worshipping about London. The land of Shakespeare and Virginia Woolf, did your fantasy match the place. Was that survival or exhilarating experience.

England for me was mosaic of different experiences. I became a part of real cosmopolitanism and capitalistic society where each minute is counted.

Let me slightly change your question. I was influenced by English literature but I was not worshipping their life. I also did not fantasize much about the place even though I was overwhelmed by Elizabeth and Darcy’s love story (Austen’s Pride and Prejudice) or Dickens’ characters. I am happy that I got a chance to see Shakespeare’s Stratford upon Avon, Dicken’s Gadshill, Jane Austen’s Bath, Agatha Christie’s Torquay, Devon, Chaucer’s Canterbury and some more historical places which was impossible to reach if I was not in Britain.

I got mixed feelings: London was exhilarating as well as welcoming like Kathmandu. In the beginning it turned to be far intimidating in terms of life style, language, culture, works and much more. Later I got accustomed to everything. Gradually life turned easy and simple there.   

Your book Ujyalo Andhakar or Shining Darkness got good reviews. It is a good collection of essays. Your essays tell stories and journey too. You seem to be sticking to only genre. Why?

Oh! I loved your translation, Shining Darkness. As a matter of fact, it was such a surprising reviews I got from the readers and the literary circle for my essays. Being honest, I did not write any essay in systematic manner or being so conscious about essay writing: I wrote or expressed spontaneously whatever issue, character or the circumstances touched me. So, it turned to be like my personal journey, however, along with my physical journey, many characters got encompassed. I feel happy that people accepted my experiences and my expressions.

It’s true that I am with essays only so far. Nonetheless, keen readers like you can easily sieve my writings where they get flavors of different genres, don’t you? As a matter of fact I love creative collage for my expressions.     

Your comments on The Magic Mountain by Thomas Man, A Brief History of Seven Killing by Marlon James drew a breed of quality readers’ attention towards you. How did you develop your reading habit of such classics?

Reading goes through a process; it’s a kind of mental journey. And every reader along with time knows well about their interest and areas. I started reading literature lately (course book literature was there), still whichever I picked up that were world classics. Basically, in the beginning I followed the choices and recommendation of some renowned writers. For instance, I searched Pearl S. Buck’s The Good Earth when Manjushree Thapa talked about it (I forgot where). Similarly Narayan Dhakal in one of his interviews mentioned Chimananda Ngozi Adichie. I picked up her Purple Hibiscus straight away. Prakash Sayami had given me so lots of books. He introduced me to Nirmal Verma, Kamleswar, Amrita Pritam, J.M. Coetzee, Rohinton Mistry, Agyeya and many other writers. I am thankful to him. Poet Heman Yatri suggested me many must read Nepali poets. There are many friends who happened to shape up my reading habit including yourself. You are the one to keep asking me about Arundhati Roy (Thank you, you gifted me The Ministry of Utmost Happiness and some other books).

You are a good writer. Are there some particular writers that left impression upon you or May be some books that have influenced you?

Thank you for your compliment. As I already told you I got a chance to read heavy weighted writers like Devkota, Parijat and BP. Possibly they left some marks on me. Later there came many other national international writers on my way. By the way, to share you one more thing about me: I was so touched by the memoirs of Ganesh Rasik’s  Das Gajama Uviyera and Amber Gurung’s Kaha Gaye Ti Dinharu. After reading them I realized that our personal sufferings, predicaments and life experiences matter. Eduardo Galeano’s Open Veins of Latin America, and Jared Diamond’s Guns, Germs and Steel have captured the colonial pillage and massive exploitation of Latin American and African resources which pushed them into poverty and hunger. Janak Lal Sharma, Harka Gurung, Bhim Bahadur Pande, M.C. Regmi, Aahuti are some of the writers who have made me aware about socio-historical and economic circumstances of Nepali society.

For me women writers’ experiences matter. Memoire and autobiographies of some writers like Nawal El Saadawi, Kamala Das, Maya Angelou, Tehmina Durrani, Tara Rai, Gaura Prasai, Saraswati Gyawali etc. include myriads of experiences that has inspired me to move ahead. The above mentioned writers have influenced me somehow, nevertheless, the list goes long as I like many other writers. Moreover, these days I am inclined towards sociological issue, structural politics, history, indigenous community, gender issues and books with dissenting voice.

How do you judge contemporary Nepali writing? Is there any hope reaching our literature in world scenario?

The word ‘judge’ sounds quite heavy. Rather than judging I can share my view. Nepali literature is in progressive path in terms of issue, presentation and exploration of socio-cultural and political areas. Nevertheless, we still carry hangover of strict structural writings. We got to deconstruct and push the boundary to reach the vastness of creative abode

Our writing is also a part of world scenario/world literature. The only thing is, how far we have reached to the world. I still remember, Satya Mohan Joshi in a program had highlighted the importance of translating organic Nepali literature. If we could do so, definitely we can reach to the wider reader circle. In fact, some writers writing in English have already taken our literature to the western readers. However, we have to be careful about the issues and images of Nepal they have portrayed.  

You once presented a paper on Nepali English writing. You have enough stuffs from Nepali English writing. Will you share where our English writing stands?

Yes, I have interest about Nepali writers writing in English: I did some research and wrote an article as well. In the present context there are many young writers who are writing originally in English. The contemporary writers are the third generation to write in English. Nevertheless, they are the first generation to publish and reach the wider readers.

Again the important thing is the issues they have raised in their writings. In fact, real face of Nepal and organic Nepali flavor are yet to be written by Nepali writers who have been writing in English. Some bits and pieces have been scattered already.

You participated Sufi festival in Jaipur, I often go there for the biggest literary fare though. You have good taste of literature, music and other artistic thing. I still remember you buying two ancient looking ear rings in Darbar Square Kathmandu and heard from you how you chose Jayapuriyan Ear Rings in the pink city, Jaipur. We have a very popular word Elite and I find it properly suits to you so far as your taste is concerned. I wonder how you preserve such elitism.

I know about you attending Jaipur Literary Festivals, how interesting! I participated in Jaipur Sufi Festival: the amalgamation of literature, music and philosophy. It was unforgettable memory, indeed.

I bought Jaipurina earring for me. But as you have brought here the word ‘elite’, I think, the word is used these days without penetrating the real meaning and history connected with that, don’t you think so?

Elitism has not even a far connection in my case from any perspectives. My interest on Jaipurian earring is just due to my respect for typical cultural aesthetics. You know about the power politics and structural domination against the Tamang community in Nepal. I am one of the members of immensely marginalized caste. Needless to say that even inside the community I am a woman. These days, indigenous communities have already lost their organic lifestyle and philosophy. They are in the grip of hybrid culture. I mean to say that women in indigenous communities have already lost their powerful position. I have struggled hard to be in the position to raise my resisting voice for myself and for my community. To tell you the bitter truth, I am the first person to complete high-school not only from my family but also from my whole community and village. So there is no issue of me being either elite or preserving elitism. My approach to foreign university education was just an outcome of my personal pursuit.

You have been writing about marginalized people for some-time now. You say it helps you understand the layer and function of society. You often mention Gayatri Spivak of subaltern fame and Antonio Gramsci with prison notebook fame to analyze our contemporary society. Has the perception of literature revealed new insight for you too?

It’s just other-way round than the background you have given here. I gradually became aware about the dominating power politics and structural sidelining of several caste and communities in our society that inspired me to write about marginalized people. Undoubtedly Gramsci and Spivak have huge role to highlight power-blocs and inherent hegemonic structural values. Their analysis has definitely enriched my perspective for being critical not only to the literature but also to our society and its power entanglement. Michel Foucault is another thinker who has massively affected the way I take the institutional power today.

Recently you have completed MPhil in English. Why did you come to English again?

My interest was always in Literature.  It is the only subject I realized I could explore wholeheartedly. Nonetheless, literature includes several issues and areas. Reading literature means delving into the society, several marginal subjects and much more. You know better that the several subjects have crossed the boundary and blended together. Reading literature is not only reading literature, but also reading society, politics and beyond.   

It has been long since your first and only one book was published. You have been regularly writing, I wonder if you want to give a surprise of second book to your readers very soon.

In fact, it has been long, almost eight years since I published my first collection of essay Ujyalo Andhakar. I still remember the year 2072 BS just after the destructive earthquake, writer Shreeom Shrestha Rodan telephoned me and reminded, “Kumariji its already a year your book was released”.

“Yes, time flows fast, isn’t it?” I replied. It’s high time to publish another book. Definitely, I would love to bring new book for the readers who are waiting me. I am just waiting for the favorable time.

You were bohemian type writer and somehow a kind of bourgeois too. For you, thought and emotion mattered most. Some time ago I read your essay on Tamangs which you belong to by your birth, this essay and like these pieces confirmed the shifting of your concern. For sometimes you have been seriously writing about caste, class, identity and root. What inspired you to turn to such subjects? 

Thank you for this wonderful question. Firstly you contradict with your own view; how can a person become unconventional and conformist at the same time? If your question hints towards the portrayal of cosmopolitan life and sophisticated language I have used in Ujyalo Andhakar, you may be partially correct. However, there are essays like “Bhuekuhiro ra Kanchhi Tamang ko Sapan”, essay about Seti didi and some other that distinctly raise the voice of margin. Conformists love stagnation, which is not my cup of tea.

You are right. These days I am much into the marginal issues than before. You know, it’s the matter of time, understanding and consciousness which is the outcome of a thinking process. I felt identity crisis when I was in London. There I found myself as an international student who belongs to a poor country. One incident had pinched me so hard. That morning when I was rushing towards the work, I heard a British lady shouting to an Asian guy who spit on the road. She was very angry. The words she spoke about Asian people hit my mind. I realized that I was not other than a third-class citizen: I felt identity crisis. Shortly, I packed my luggage and returned back home even I had visa to stay there for half a year more. And then after coming back home, several issue of women’s violence and some of my own personal and my sister’s experiences took me closer to the vulnerable position of women in our country: it ignited the feeling of existential crisis. I embraced the identity issue more seriously than ever before.

After the publication of my first collection, for some time I was so contented since everyone was appreciating my essays. Amidst my heyday, one of the noted writers happened to point out that my essays lack thoughts (chintan) which shattered me. After that I started the journey of ‘thought’. While journeying through the path of several ideas and knowledge I happen to be face to face with plethora of injustice, structural marginalization, power politics, subjugation of some caste and community, never ending coercion and violence against women, and much more. No need to say that how the Tamang community was suppressed and dominated by Janga Bahadur Rana’s Muluki Ain. There is not only one thing but various historical, social circumstances that have fueled my mettle to write what I am writing today. And I know that it’s just the beginning: there is a long way to tread to address the myriad issues.  

The whole world seems to be going through a kind of big pause. In Nepal too we have this Covid period, now in second wave. We have had long uncertain time. We have witness untimely demise of our near and dears. In spite of terror, we find greenery at best, the birds seem happily flying and nature smiling from every corner. We have accustomed to such situation. In the beginning we were all paralyzed with the fear of death, slowly the rhythm of life gathered momentum. We have read Margaret Athood and Adchie’s experience of how they spent their time in pandemic. Sanjeev Uprety in conversation with me said that he spent his time with more bird watching. A changed in your career occurred in this period. How did you spend such two long confinement periods? (Mention your personal experience, your work, effect on creativity, from private job to governmental job, new work on progress etc.)

The background you have given is absolutely true. We were paralyzed by uncertainty and fear of death. However, we have no alternative to cope up with predicaments. Amid uncanny situations I tried my best to remain creative and positive. I diverted unprecedented situations and vulnerability towards creative path. I was in touch with literary circles through virtual platforms. You know, everyone tried their best to tackle lockdown suffocation. My group, Aahwan also organized some literary and Covid-19 related discussion during lockdown. At the same time Bookaholics, Publiknama etc. encouraged writers and creative people to express their experiences through virtual connection; that were the examples of creative solidarity.  

In relation to my job, it was just a part of my professional journey. Though the result came during pandemics, lots of processes, exams, interviews were going on since long. It’s the same profession which I am in for long time: only the institution has been changed.     

In one of your essays, you have written intimately about relationship. Two young man and lady go to Thamel to have some fun by having snacks and good time together. After some happy moment they return and the lady who is probably still single happily sends the man to his wife. She is not angry but happy to have a married man as a lover. For the man it is an extra marital affair and happy to have it but for the woman it was deep love and she knows who she is having relationship with. Do you want to indicate our traditional society has already entered into new phase, is lovers’ world extended? Has the time come to talk and act openly with some social issues?

Thank you for recalling my essay. But let me make you clear: I have portrayed them as close friends rather than lovers. Nonetheless, a reader can interpret my writing on their own manners.   

The characters are friends and they have emotional attachments. The word “extra marital” can guide their sentiments in different direction. While talking about love, it has no limitations or time boundary, we can always talk about it. You know, human beings are always in love since it’s a human instinct. Regarding social issues, of course it’s high time to talk about each issue that is part of our life but we have kept covered underneath the surface for long.

As a student of English literature, London is a dream land for me and I think Shakespeare, Wordsworth, Woolf inspire thousand readers across the globe to think of London as a pious place to visit. You reached there and came without spending the proper time allocated for you. You just finished study and returned. When you left Nepal, you were very aspiring writers and wanted to venture in the field of English language too. I read some of your reviews of foreign literature too. Yea you mentioned, you felt a kind of insult and identity crisis. I wonder why you didn’t pursue your career in English literature when you were in the perfect place for that. Was there any personal or relationship crisis or any unbearable situation that led you take the decision to say good bye to your every aspiring writer’s dream land? (Please mention some of working, reading and personal experience of that long one and half year stay there. You have written beautifully about such experience in your Nepali essay and I want English readers to know something about your struggle there)

I have already told you about my London experience. Actually, London was not my dreamland: it was just a momentary placement. I went there as a student, not as a writer. I did my study; I am happy that I got a chance to see western lifestyle and internalized the brighter side as well as complications and challenges of that society. You know, the world is engulfed by capitalistic values where human beings have turned more mechanical, ambitious, and concentrated on material progress and prosperity. Britain is also one of such cosmopolitan cities heavily loaded with cosmopolitanism. I have already mentioned you about an incident how insulting a British lady turned towards an Asian guy. I was also an outsider or an intruder for them. After completing my study, there was nothing much to do. I had/have no much ambition for material gain so I came back home.    

I saw you getting angry twice and both time almost uncontrollable. First time when you were in Chitwan for some program around 15 years back when someone asked you if you were still Virgin( Kumari means virgin in Nepali , and the question was asked in Nepali) though the question was jocular, it turned out to be very unpleasant situation. You promptly replied “Yes I am, so what?” Your face reddened, your lips were trembling with anger, and the questioner disappeared with clouded faces. Second time I saw you fighting with lady tailor who destroyed your dress which you wanted to wear in some especial occasion. When we talk and have tea session, I always find sober, jocular, systematic, ever chatty Kumariji. What makes you angry?

Haha. I am surprised that you are reminding me so lot of thing. It means we have already treaded long path of our acquaintance, haven’t we?

The Chitwan incident was a kind of insult for me. The person might not have imagined what does it means to a woman. The issue of virginity itself is a patriarchal coding on women’s body. He was reeking patriarchy without his knowledge even in his joke, which was completely intolerable for me. And for sure, he also might not have expected my anger-loaded reaction. You know, we have already normalized numerous bias words, attitudes, and behaviors towards women and marginalized groups. When I delve on his words/ idea related to the word ‘Kumari’, it’s pretty clear that he had spoken the idea of patriarchy. Now I find him miserable; he himself is a victim of patriarchal structural idea that made him speak like that. The hidden structural view about unmarried woman = virginity, isn’t it? And he happened to make a joke pointing my name: the most infuriating thing was that. Mainly, the sociocultural biasness towards any gender and community is intolerable for me.

The slight discussion with the tailor lady was just due to her irresponsible behavior. She was supposed to make my dress ready the previous day, but she had not done even the next day. The person who could not keep their words infuriate me. She was lashed because of that reason. Otherwise I have great respect for every skilled workers who have been making our life easier. And I am surprised that you still remember the tiny discussion which I have almost forgotten.  

Now you are preparing hard for your second anthology of the essays. Your first anthology was more personal experience but when we observe your latter published essays, we find more social and identical issues. And we see a kind of shift in your perspective too as we can say you are turning a kind of bold writing like Arundhati Roy, Manjushree Thapa and Chimamanda Adchie and the way in our Nepal,  Parijat Didi worked. What makes you go deeper into such social ills?

Basically the imbalanced power politics and its socio-cultural consequences always motivate me to see our society in a critical manner. Patriarchal structural domination, inequality, biasness and hegemony towards certain caste, gender and community insist me to think more critically and go deeper into the issues. In today’s capitalistic world, patriarchal and capitalistic values have intermingled together which has become more intimidating towards women, indigenous communities and various vulnerable groups. You know that women’s bodies are being sold as commodity in cosmopolitan sex market. Sex business has become one of the most lucrative industries around the globe where six years old girl child to fifty years old women’s bodies are being snatched by the flesh-mongers. So where is the human/women’s value? Similarly, we have been massively destroying nature and disturbing several indigenous communities who are completely dependent on nature; now they are de-rooted and displaced from their places. The ancestral land is not only a piece of earth, it is the whole body of culture, language, lifestyle and whole philosophy of the community. But these days along with the huge deforestation and nature unfriendly developmental models which have created havoc on the natives as well as nature. It is a part of politics, of which we are witness only. Same is the case with third gender. We have so much accustomed with the idea of male-female gender dichotomy that someone beyond that demarcation line, are not acceptable. In such scenario there arises several cases of victimization of third gender communities. So, there are numerous social issues which have surrounded me and challenging me to be earnest and sensible.

The above mentioned are only few among many issues, which are in urgent need to be addressed. Amid such exhilarating scenario, each citizen including writer has duties and responsibilities for making society better place where equality, justice, and freedom remain at the core. As a writer I have creative expressions and some platform to disclose the issues and bring them under discussion. I am just trying my best to shed light on some areas and aspects of indigenous and marginalized communities.   

[Here is an essay by Kumari Lama. Please enjoy!]

Jamosc’s Martha and Wait of Her Soil

Dear Martha,

We are always connected by the beautiful waves of our memory, though geography has distanced us. All of a sudden your remembrance has turned sharp than usual. While climbing the pine hill of Bhairab Danda and being swept away by the greenery, I felt the sapling of our love has grown inside me. Your memories open like a pig of an orange when I see Hetauda Baazar from the view-tower. Your distinct look flows in-front of my eyes like winter’s Rapti.

Our hanging around in Woolwich Town Center, eating Nepali food in Kailash Restaurant, and ferrying on Thames River on the last day of my London stay are rewinding fresh in my mind. Martha, you are a Polish citizen and a mother of far-away land. Can’t believe how we became so intimate even without our notice! I just became happy for you and your love. I have felt your pain scattered everywhere in Govinda Bartaman’s Sorha Sajhharu. I was shuddered by the tear you shed in the memory of your country. I have found the same bitterness of war that you shared me in the book. Sufferings of Dorambha and Liwang are not different to Poland where your grandfather had disappeared. Plight of our grandmothers and mothers are not different to the frightful and lonely journey of your young grandmother with her children.

While contemplating on your missing grandfather and the terror stricken ash-white faces of the victims of Liwang, once again the war wound has relapsed. Ten years war has gifted us incurable diseases. Dear Martha, like your grandfather, thousands have disappeared here too — by the several forces. Whoever are responsible, after-all it is the issue of disappearance. Relative’s tears are dropped; mothers’ laps are emptied; women are widowed; daughters are orphaned, and the country has lost its citizen: that’s all. What could be more than that? In fact we have been continuously disappeared. What’s the value of a person in the world where even a village or a whole country could be vanished? Don’t worry Martha! The power game keeps going on. Not only your grandfather but also your country was invisible in the globe for a century. After a long struggle it reappeared in the map, isn’t it?  This is a power play, a political game: such dangerous game goes on.

Small countries have disappeared from the world. Even many villages have vanished from my own country. The pain of you, me, and someone like us is the same. Your forefathers encountered holocaust for being Jewish; we have also witnessed the darkest moments when our own people were scapegoats. Vicious decisions about wars have taken place in the history and it recurs everywhere. I honor them whoever have fought for the existence of your country. I gulp some warm tears while listening the plight of your nation and compare with the circumstances that have aroused in my country.

I offer some flowers to my heart, which is drenched by your memory: throbbing heart gets some peace.

Martha, sometime we are heavily engrossed by the memory of our motherland. I was unremittingly pinched by the discomfort of being away from my country during my few years stay in London. Possibly you too were in the same situation. That’s why you used to talk time and again about your village. While waving farewell, you gifted me a leaflet of your village, Jamosc. The paper piece was definitely your intense love for your birth place. Believe me Martha, the leaflet was one of the most precious gifts for me. I could feel your love in each page. I had noticed the glow that bloomed in your face while handing me the leaflet and explaining me about Jamosc: it is in the southern part of Lublin Province and has been listed in the World Heritage list. You made me feel my latent love for my nation too.  I was amazed to see you practicing typical Polish lifestyle even in London.  

Your forefathers had suffered German atrocities and   devastated by the obliteration of their identity. Anyway, the martyrdom of your grandfather didn’t go vain. Even sacrificing themselves they saved the nation. That’s why Martha you could hold your head high with pride of being a daughter of Poland.

You know, while reminiscing and writing about you, your discontents are also getting clear. Many of you are compelled to migrate to the other countries as Poland could not prosper economically like other European countries. However, the problem lies not only there: it has spread internationally. Can you believe Martha, many of our villages are completely empty these days. Nonetheless, migration is not a new thing: the trend of running away began long back. Poet Min Bahadur Bista has poured the same emotions in his poem.

Shouldering a bag wrapped at the middle by a red patch
Dangling from the waist a rusted khukuri
that awaits sharpening for years,
Beseeching their bedridden parents to look after the house that’s like a mortuary,
The young sons are walking out of their birthplaces
together with their beloved ones.

(Min Bahadur Bista: “Sala Pahad Mey Kya hai”)

Many villages are drowned in a pond of tear remembering their inhabitants, who have disappeared into the cities: some have flown to Arab or Britain or America. Poet Shyamal is also touched by the grief of such empty villages like poet Bista. It was hard for me to deal with the harsh reality captured by his Ritto Gaun dear Martha. I ignored for a while. But how long can I remain indifferent towards the bitter reality? Many villages share the similar predicament of empty Akrang Gaun. While reading Shyamal, I was recalling Lila Gurung, Subdarni Aamai, Kamini Didi and other elderly people who are the only caretakers of the village. Mostly the villages are empty like the bride’s house after the big ceremony. Martha, probably your village is equally empty and gloomy. Perhaps it’s sigh and anticipation have spread on the road.

I believe that everyone who is in the foreign land will return back to their villages and bring life to the dried happiness. I am sure Martha, soon you too will return back to your abandoned Jamosc to accompany it.

Your bright memory has been following me not only at the peak of Bhairab Danda but also with the fluttering flags of Chitlang’s stupa. Gradually the seedling of hope has been sprouting in my heart, which was stacked with emptiness because of the empty villages. The Polish soil that got life by the sacrifice of your grandfather, and the soil of my country which was drenched by the blood of our brothers and sisters, will soon be touched by the golden dusk of productivity. The bright day is near: Jamosc’s Martha.

Good-bye.