Rosham Bhandari
It has been long since you went away.
Today is like the same other day when I am waiting for you. Almost all the hopes of your coming back are down now. But in the dark, there is still a little hope. Last time, you were here at your father’s funeral. It has been almost two years now.
You don’t know how much it hurts a mother to see an empty home! How much it hurts to see others’ families living together and happily. Living together with my family is my only hope, my son. But you don’t come back to me. You don’t bring my daughter-in-law and grandson to me. Nowadays you don’t even call me. I feel like I am a burden to you. It hurts to know that my own family is living happily without me!
Home doesn’t feel like home without you all. This home feels empty just like my heart. I want to live with you all. I want to love my grandson. I want to play with him. I wanted to tell your childhood stories to your children like how you used to climb the roof of our house, how you loved to get wet in the rain, how you loved to collect different flowers. I also want to share my experiences with you. Wanted to share my feelings with you!
But just thinking about not being able to be with you all I feel disheartened.
Yes, you are financially supporting me but I also want your emotional support, my son. I am turning seventy-three this year. Your mother is becoming weaker day by day. Remember when you used to be sick I was always there for you holding your hand and taking you to the hospital. But now when I am sick, there is no one to take me to the hospital. There is no one to give me a glass of water–! No one is there to ask me if I am OK.
My lifespan is decreasing day by day and all I want is to spend quality time with you all—
I have taken care of you for my entire life. Now I just want you to take care of me if possible. I think I have fulfilled all my responsibilities, my son. But now when it’s your turn you are turning back on me.
Life turns a cycle.
I hope you don’t have to pass through this phase. I hope when you become old your children will always be there for you. And your children will not forget you the way you forgot me!
[Rosham Bhandari is a student of grade XI at Koshi Saint James Secondary School, Itahari.]