Priyanka Bhattarai
Saturday, May 29, 2021
My dear diary,
Today I am back once again because you seem to be the only one I am able to talk whenever I want to. It has been 5 years today, I haven’t seen my son, daughter-in-law and my beloved grandson. I miss you all, my children. After the death of your father, I have only one wish left back is to stay with you all and spend the rest of my life. Whenever I see others of your age, I see you in them. I wish I could live with you, my son!, and share my sorrow and happiness.
Inside the wide, open space of myself, I find a mixture of solitude and loneliness. Day by day I am getting older and physically weak. It’s hard for me to manage my daily routine from morning to evening. I have to do all my work by myself. No one is there for me. I’m all alone. I wish whenever I get up early in the morning my sweet daughter -in-law would ask me for breakfast and my son about my health (i.e. about blood pressure and diabetes) like others’ sons do to their parents
Having grandkids is a blessing. I want to play with my grandson along with extra care and nourishment. I also want to share stories, different novels and old memories of my time, cook delicious food for him and enjoy the family time. I also want my grandson to hold my hand when I get up from the chair; and want to put my hands on his head and bless him. However, these all are my will, which will be fulfilled or not I don’t know at all.
There is a crashing tumble of sharp feelings today. Like the water flooding New Orleans, I feel as if my emotions have overwhelmed the blanks of my heart. Oh! My son come back soon. I’m sitting alone in this dull moist room. It is very difficult to live alone. I am also having trouble with my regular health check-up as I have to walk for hours to reach the hospital from this village. I had only one desire left that is to spend time with you all. My son, your presence will make me stronger and give me confidence to spend the rest of my life.
I know you have begun your new life where your priority is your wife and son; but I wish you don’t have to face those problems like mine as all have to come across this stage. I hope you will understand the situation one day and I hope I will get a chance soon to meet you all.
My blessings are with you my beloved ones!
[Priyanka Bhattarai is a student of grade XI at Koshi Saint James Secondary School, Itahari.]