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Monday, December 23, 2024

A Posthumous Reverberation

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Bal Krishna Sama

My love, I am completely healed,
and the body cent-percent lightened
even more than a fallen flower.
Why do you still
let the torrents of tears down?
Leave it;
it will upset the heart in vain.

Didn’t you see; the wind’s minute waves
are breaking at the blow of your wail,
I can see every bit
and enter the minutest gash.
Be quiet, my love,
o my lover, be quiet.
Throw your wails into the bosoms
of a still, meditative silence.
It doesn’t pain me anymore.
No harpoon can pierce through me,
if comes my foe with sharp tridents
it will be blown away right in my front,
as though it were mere smoke.
For, I am no longer hard like glass,
I am soft and transparent like the sky.
Had I got hands, albeit of air,
I would wipe your tears out,
with kisses smeared all over your eyes,
I would close the pores that let tears out,
but I have become the sky, alas!
I don’t see my face in the mirror,
instead, I resort to nature’s mirror in ponds
though I am a mere empty sky there.
My love, did you say I died?
Thought that I am dead?
Is that so?
In fact, have I grown into
a thing useless for you?
Perhaps, something special happened,
I can sense changes.
I collect the reminiscence of success
in an acid test.
Yes, I am immune to pain now.
Nor will my mind pain.
I have no place to rest my mind onto.
Every place is bare, naked.
Wherever my parts pace,
they become one with me.
I become a leaf the moment I see one,
and drown in its gasps
and flowers as I pass, I am their fragrance.
My form now conforms to all colors,
smoother than the blown-off dust
thinner than vapor
more transparent than light,
and lighter than air itself.
A drop of water had a distinct existence,
which, however became an ocean,
the moment it joined one.
And I? I became the sky.

Like the clear blue firmament,
after the clouds recede,
my feeble body has liberated,
and I have healed in entirety.
Friends and relatives of mine,
too are crying beside you.
Look at him; why is he crying thus?
I didn’t know, he loved me that much.
The other one, I grant, cried less than expected.

[Trans: Mahesh Paudyal]

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