Yashoda Adhikari
Now, Thegni Devi speaks:
What is a woman’s cost
in this society?
What if her total body
is bartered with a box of dowry
or her entire life is beleaguered
inside a murky room
Thegani Devi will speak now
how much is a woman’s cost
in this society?
Had you ever heard
the wailing of a woman writhing in pain
unable to die with ease in fire she was force into?
Had you ever cared
how kerosene was added onto a woman
who denied easy death?
Imagine, how I swallowed human poop?
How had I digested that?
From the window of your alleged hell
I would say only this much—
come; feel once from my position.
The flame of dowry
was water from a postmodern tap;
I was soaked in the same water
in the pool of women’s emancipation
and remained there for a while
and felt cool on being burnt alive
instead of dying every now and then.
It seems,
industries for matchsticks in this country
were opened for my sake;
kerosene too was imported
for me
the sale of acid
had been undertaken just for my sake.
Ah, how powerful I am
I was burnt secretly today, for I never spoke out.
I ate charred meat
grilled together with the fire of dowry
and tasted freedom;
I saw the black coat of the judge
heard the songs of equality from temples, mosques and monasteries
Fire, for me, was akin to water;
it burns others
but to me, it offers coolness!
I burned many times
before I was charged with flames
and died several times;
but then, the fire could not burn
the shawl I had covered myself with
My goes were never
reduced to ashes.
Granted, I didn’t know
how I could silently endure rape
and did not perhaps obey your commands
but Thegandevi speaks
what is the cost of a woman
in this society?
A cupboard
a cot
a vehicle
a colored television
a mother buffalo
and a woman—
which of these costs higher
in this society?
There’s a question Thegan Devi could not resolve
even after burning alive:
How much is the cost of a woman
in this society?
[Yashoda Adhikari (b. 1987), a journalist working for the concerns of the women in the media, hails from Machchhe in Kavre district of Nepal. He published works include poetry collections Nishedh Birudhha (2007), Ka Kha Geet (2012) and Aswikar (2015). A winner of Education Journalism Award (2004), Adhikari also works woking for the Sancharika Samuha, a forum of women journalists.