Parshu Shrestha
One decade back, when we had taken the MA second year exams and the first year result was published, the English Department of Mahendra Multiple Campus, Dharan, led by Dr. Kedar Prasad Poudel (now Professor), called the students who had cleared all first year subjects to discuss about thesis writing.I was one of them. I reached the college the next day.
The department had already allocated Thesis Supervisors for students on the basis of the genres. On my favorite genre, the fiction, the thesis supervisor was Ramji Timalsina (now a PhD). The department had decided that we students had to choose a book of Nepali literature, written in Nepali or translated into English, for thesis writing.
The English Department’s decision caused a great panic on us, the students. We, like most novice MA English literature students, had a conviction that Nepali literature was not our field of study. Nor would it ever be in future. We were obliged to know the history and critical theories of the British and American literatures. English literary texts written by non-British, non-American or non-Western writers could be included in Non-Western Studies, a 100 marks subject in the Second Year of MA. But texts written in Nepali or other national languages were beyond our imagination as study materials for our thesis.
There were some reasons for our discomfort. Firstly, thesis writing was going to be much more difficult than we had believed as we were never habituated in research and writing. From the primary level to the secondary, we passed each class by memorizing the questions and their answers our teacher dictated or wrote on the blackboard, mostly without knowing what the questions and the answers meant. We knew the grammar rules, point by point, from the books written and published by some Nepali teachers of English, but could not write confidently even a paragraph with those rules followed correctly. Throughout the college, from PCL (Proficiency Certificate Level) to Bachelors level, we passed English, compulsory or major, selecting important questions and chapters, and memorizing the answers published in the guidebooks or guess papers. The A to Z same questions were asked in the exams, and we never needed to be so much creative for writing their answers in the answer-sheets. It was only in the MA first year that we realized English literature was a subject worth laboring. It was suddenly like a big jump, both high and long, when we passed out Bachelors and joined Masters.
The second reason why we hesitated to choose a Nepali text for thesis was our attitude to the language. From the very beginning, as primary school children, the idea that English is superior to and more difficult language than Nepali was inculcated in us. Naturally, we thought literary texts written in English were better and more standard than those in Nepali. As the students of English literature we regarded ourselves superior and more brilliant than the students of Nepali literature. This mentality worked as a catalyst to increase our displeasure at the decision of the English Department of the college.
Third, it was not going to be easy for copying materials from various Internet sources and pastingthem in the form of thesis paper so thatit would be a workable and shortcut way to pass the exam with good marks (at least a dignified second division). Any topic we would choose for thesis from any Nepali literary text was going to be virgin. Moreover, there was almost no possibility of finding enough literature review. Basically, the orientation class,for thesis writing, that our teachers organized for us arouse intense awe in us. The phonemic transcription and translation that we were supposed to perform for each Nepali word quoted in the thesis erected goose bumps on our skin. Therefore, the common belief that thesis writing would be a matter of compromise between the student and the supervisor was going to suffer because it worked as aheavy pressure that would “discourage them from plagiarism” as our teacher Indira Mishra (now a Ph. D.) quoted. They were to maintain enough honesty and travail.
Maybe it was the reason why some of my classmates whom I met at the college the next day had made up their mind to write exam in “Tragedy”, an extra paper that students could do instead of thesis writing. However, I was determined to write thesis on a Nepali long fiction. I was ready to face any challenge or take up any level of ordeal for completing my thesis. I thought writing thesis was the only way to consolidate my knowledge of English, a foreign language for me. I agree with Jhumpa Lahiri who says, “A foreign language is a delicate, finicky muscle. If you don’t use it, it gets weak.”
However, I had mainly two challenges: First, I had not decided my thesis topic yet. Second, I did not know which Nepali literary book I was going to choose for my thesis. Moreover, I was not sure how much help and guidance I was going to get from my thesis supervisor.
I was a journalist before I joined M. A. with English major.I had four-year experience of writing news stories in Nepali print media, but I had always dreamt of writing in English. Therefore, I wanted to develop my writing skills in English.
Narayan Wagle, one of my role-models in journalism, the then Editor-in-Chief of the Kantipur daily, had recently got his novel, Palpasa Café, published. I had read and liked it very much. Actually, I had long been Mr Wagle’s fan for his articles, especially his weekly column ‘Coffee Guff’published every Saturday in Koseli, a Saturday special of Kantipur. I never missed his narratives since I first read it in Biratnagar when I was preparing for SLC examination in 2053 B. S.
I made up my mind for trying to find a topic for my thesis from Mr Wagle’s Palpasa Café which would later on win that year’s Madan Puraskar, the most prestigious literary prize for a Nepali writer. Coincidently, I happened to see an English title Palpasa Café in a book shop in Itahari. It was translated into English by Bikash Sangraula. I was so jubilant at the moment that I almost sprang up. Then and there, I intended to write thesis on Palpasa Café anyhow. I bought the book and brought it home. I had to find an acceptable topic from the book for my M. A. thesis. Therefore, I read the book the second time (but this time in English!).
I devoured the whole book in two days, and enjoyed it as much as I had the Nepali version before. This time, unlike in the first reading, I found a blurred pattern in the whole narrative: Drishya, the protagonist, held a point of view for observing things, both artistic and non-artistic, that was opposite to Siddhartha’s, a somewhat villainous character. Since the book was written in the milieu of Nepal’s ten-year long Maoist war (People’s War) and the protagonist suffered because of it, I found most of his perception and points of view somewhat different from Marxism, but I was not sure yet. I was also unable to find at first what Drishya’s point of view to look at art would be called. Therefore, even after completing the reading I scanned the whole book again, page to page. In one page, I found the phrase ‘art for art’s sake’. That became the turning point for my future thesis and I started skimming the book with that phrase in my mind. The phrase referred to the French and English movements of the Victorian era called Aestheticism, of which the English philosopher Walter Pater (1839-1894) was a dominant advocate. I decided to use his philosophy of art to analyze Drishya’s, the protagonist, viewpoint to look at art as described in the novel. Then, I thought the topic: “Voice for Aestheticism in Palpasa Café by Narayan Wagle”.
I lived in Dharan when I joined the M. A. course. I was there until I took the first year exam. Then my family shifted to Itahari. Fortunately, my thesis supervisor, Mr. Ramji, lived in Itahari, on a rented apartment on the second floor of a house nearby Koshi Saint James College. I phoned him and expressed my willingness, with an unknown fear in my mind, to discuss with him about the topic and the novel I had chosen for writing MA dissertation. He was ready to welcome me to his abode. I was much worried whether he would accept my thesis topic.
I reached his quarter in the late afternoon that day. Since I had phoned him earlier, he was waiting for me in his room. I was very nervous.He told me to sit on a sofa beside the window of his study room and asked me in a very friendly tone, ‘So…, what is your topic? Have you decided yet?’
“Voice for Aestheticism in Palpasa Café by Narayan Wagle,” I said almost timidly in a shaky voice: I want to show in my thesis that this novel supports the ideology of aestheticism.
‘OK, tell me what the main features of aestheticism are,’ demanded Sir Ramji, doubtfully, ‘Are you sure you will be able to write 150 pages long thesis with this topic? Are there enough references and examples in the novel so that you can prove your thesis?’
‘I hope so, Sir,’ I said with a little confidence and more excitement in my tone, ‘I have found many lines in the novel which support the idea of aestheticism forwarded by Victorian English aesthete Walter Pater who supported the slogan ‘art for art’s sake’. Drishya, the protagonist of this novel, holds exactly the same ideas.’ Then I handed the English version of Palpasa Café over to him. He turned some pages and observed the book for a while. Finally, he said, ‘OK, then. Let’s start. First, underline every single sentence or phrase that supports your thesis.’
Then, in a piece of paper he explained to me the TU format of thesis writing. He talked about MLA Handbook and the requirements I had to fulfil to complete my thesis writing. According to him, I was welcome to his house in the evenings or early mornings. But each time before I went to his, I would have to phone him first so that he could give me his time. I would not wait until I finished the whole thesis without consulting with him, but I would have to visit him as soon as I finished one unit, or whenever I wanted to. He would provide me his feedback, upon which I would have to have no grudges and no excuse except correcting the mistakes and resubmitting the draft to him, and only if he passed it, then I could move forward. Each time I submitted the draft to him, I would either write or type in A4 size photocopy paper with double line spaces so that he could easily check it and provide his feedback. Even a single red mark in a page or line would mean the resubmission of the draft. If I did not follow his suggestions, he would relieve me of his responsibility and I would have to search another thesis supervisor myself, and he would not take any more concern about it. I would totally be responsible for that situation.
I thought his conditions and instructions were so tough that they almost repelled me, but I felt that he was friendly and studious. So, I was much impressed by his personality.
I was a little hopeful and equally hopeless when I came out of his residence. I returned home with determination to do what he had said. But it was a great challenge for me because I did not have a computer or laptop; I did not know typing, and I did not know anybody who could help me type my thesis. Therefore, I went to a famous cyber café of that time to talk to the owners for the service of my thesis typing. They were professionals who would provide the service at a high price. They said I would have to pay 25 rupees per page just for typing. Each time I had to do the correction, I would have to pay extra or they would not do anything. It was a much pricey rate at that time. Therefore, while coming back home I decided to buy a desktop (a laptop was high above my capacity) computer so that I would also learn typing. It would be a lifelong useful skill for me.
The next day, I went to the computer institute where I used to be a language instructor and talked with the owner about my problem. He was ready to provide me a second hand desktop at 14 thousand rupees. It was a Pentium III computer with a 14-inch screen and a bulky body. I had to purchase two speakers separately for sound.
I was very happy and excited on the day I brought the computer home. Now, I could type my thesis myself and I did not have to depend on anybody else. But I could not type a single word confidently because I had no knowledge about it. Moreover, there used to be frequent load-shedding. I did not have a UPS; therefore, when the electricity was gone everything would stop. On many occasions, I forgot to save the typed material and I had to repeat from the beginning. It was really painful for a toddling typist.
When I was not able to type fluently, I decided to buy a rim of photocopy papers and write on them. First, I decided, I would show the handwritten draft to Sir Ramji and then after his corrections I would type it in the computer and show him the printed draft.
When I started writing my thesis, my visit to his residence became frequent. Initially, I was not confident even of my sentence grammar and vocabulary. When Sir Ramji had no comment upon them, I collected some courage and wrote more confidently. He was really a keen thesis guide. He would not miss even a small error and the page would be colored red. However, I did not give up. I did not become discouraged even though I had to retype and reprint the draft again and again.
Sir Ramji used to say, “One perusal for one theme.” He meant that for one theme I wanted to find or prove in the novel, I had to read the whole novel from the front page to the last page so that no single example or excerpt would be missed. I obeyed him and read the novel again and again. I felt the second reading easier and faster than the first, the third reading easier and faster than the second, and so on. It was because all the latter readings were mainly skimming and scanning. However, I read the novel each time to its full, honestly, so that no single line or word would be missed or unnoticed by my eyes.
I had a pencil and an eraser with me for reading. Whatever possible excerpt or example of a theme I found, I would underline or bracket until I was at the last page. Then I would jot down all the words and lines in a notebook along with reference of page numbers. After that I would erase all the lines I had underlined before. Again, with another theme in mind I would read the book underlining and signifying the examples. I think I repeated this action at least for a dozen times.
To write my thesis, I needed to study Walter Pater’s work, Studies in the History of the Renaissance, published in 1873, so that his ideas about aestheticism would be clear and authentic. My supervisor demanded me to have and read the book thoroughly first and take all the necessary notes and references from it. If I could not do so, my thesis proposal would be cancelled. It was the toughest moment for me. I searched the book in campus library, in the Public Library, Dharan, in Biratnagar and in the TU Central Library, Kirtipur, but I did not get the book anywhere. I was so desperate that I was almost crying. Then, one day I suddenly thought of searching for the book in the Internet. In those days, I did not have Internet connection at home. Therefore, I went to a cyber café in Itahari with a pen-drive and started searching for the book. Fortunately, I got it in a website called ‘the Victorian Web’. It was available for free download. I almost cried out of excitement. I immediately downloaded and got it printed in photocopy paper. That became my authentic resource book for my thesis.
In the course of writing the thesis, many times I wished I had decided to write exam in “Tragedy” like my other classmates, and turn myself into a tragic figure in English, as I guess now. But as the thesis writing progressed, slowly and gradually, I understood the value of it. I learnt that perseverance is the only legitimate way to achieve success in writing.
In the meantime, I had to go to Kathmandu to meet and interview the writer Narayan Wagle. I met Mr. Wagle in his office and requested him for an interview. He was so busy that he told me to send questions via email. He said he would send me the answers in written form. I have annexed that interview in the appendix of my thesis.
I took eight months for writing my thesis. I could not work anywhere or search any job until I completed it. Finally, the day came when Sir Ramji said, “Congratulations, Parshuji! You have been able to complete your thesis. Now you can have it printed. Soon you’ll have to face viva-voce.” I was very jubilant that day.
I attended the viva with full confidence because I had worked hard on it. When I came out of the viva interview hall, I felt that I was familiar with at least one Nepali literary text.
After that, my perception on the Nepali literary texts changed drastically. Nowadays, I don’t regard myself superior to anybody who has graduated in Nepali literature. For me, language is a medium. The more important thing in literature is art to express emotion or opinion. My knowledge of English has helped me widen my horizon, and I think it will help me work for the betterment of Nepali literature.
I have been reading and writing in both English and Nepali.I know English has international glamour. Nevertheless, I feel like an ‘imposter’ or ‘suspended’ somewhere in the middle, and my writing seems somewhat ‘counterfeit, unnatural’ (if Jhumpa Lahiri’s words are borrowed) when I write in English. I feel more natural when I write in Nepali because it flows inside me.
(Parshu Shrestha (1981) completed his master’s degree in English from Mahendra Multiple Campus (Tribhuvan University), Dharan, in 2007, and started teaching English for living. At present, he teaches at SOS Hermann Gmeiner Secondary School Itahari and Vishwa Adarsha College, Itahari, Sunsari. He has passion for writing short stories, both in English and Nepali. He has got some of his stories and articles published in many national dailies.)