Sagar Karki
“What do you want to be in future?” our class teacher asked us once.
My friends replied that they wanted to be doctors or engineers or pilots or lawyers. But I proudly replied, “I want to be Leonardo da Vinci.”
All the boys and girls started laughing at me. That day it didn’t hurt me. In fact, it fueled me to be the best I could be.
I started participating in all the Friday programs. I never hesitated to dance in front of the whole school. I took part in singing competitions though I knew I had the worst of the bad voices. I would be most upset when I lost in painting and poetry competitions. Yet, I was determined, I would leave no stone unturned to prove that I was determined about my dream.
But alas! Whenever the examinations came around, I would regret and say, “I can’t be like Vinci.”
I had won loads of prizes in extracurricular programs but I never topped my class. In a year, we had to face several class tests, three monthly examinations and finally one closing exam. It was not that I didn’t try hard but don’t know why I could not fit myself to compete in that rat race.
After every exam I used to ask my friends how they did their exam and they would reply, “Very bad, going to fail this time. How did you do your exam?” I would smile with a grin on my face and reply, “OK; at least I should get passing marks.” But after the result, they would get above 90% and I would get just passing marks.
I always had to search my name from the bottom in the ranking list. That always frustrated me. But it was not the core reason for my frustration. I hated myself because Pooja used to be the topper of the class and it would be an embarrassing defeat for me to be beaten by a girl.
I still remember an incident that occurred when I was in grade two. In a unit test of math, I failed and Pooja topped again. After that test Madam Bhumika introduced the ‘partner rule’ to improve our marks. According to that rule, students in the top list had to help students in the bottom list. Luckily I got Pooja as my tutor. I was on cloud nine that day. And for the first time I thanked God for making me a loser.
“You idiot!” she shouted at me, quite often. I used to sit and listen silently to her. “Do like this..! Not like that, like this…! Do it correctly..! God, don’t you have brain? Erase it and do it again…!” She resembled my mom when she screamed like that but honestly I loved it. I had named her ‘Pony Miss’.
It took me more than a week to mug up the multiplication table up to 9. By then, Pooja had learnt the table up to 15. It was quite a shame for me but we were supposed to learn the table only up to 9 for our exam; so it didn’t bother me much.
“Wow! You made it!” Pooja exclaimed.
“Yeah, it’s easy,” I said as if it had happened within seconds.
“Stupid! Don’t forget it again. Or else, I will have to suffer more,” she said with a great relief on her face.
“I won’t. Tomorrow I will tell you the table up to 15,” I said with strong fascination. I didn’t know whether it impressed her.
“Impossible. It is great if you can remember till here,” Pooja said doubting my confidence.
“Nothing is impossible in this world, Madam. Impossible means ‘I’m possible’,” I said acting smart, as I remembered a dialogue of a movie (I actually do not remember the name).
“Pagal,” she whispered.
“Yes, I am an intelligent pagal,” I reacted funnily. We laughed together.
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Something magical happened once, when we were in grade three. Wow! I felt as if I had become a star overnight. Can you believe I scored 93% for the first time in my life? It was like a dream come true. It felt so surreal, so unreal. And yeah, I was now not among the losers. Though I could not beat Pooja I was happy to be the topper among the boys.
Really, it was a great feeling. For that split of second when my class-teacher showed me my marks card, I was shocked. I mean, I could not believe. It was just out of my imagination. A topper? O my God! I was completely overwhelmed. I smiled. I screamed and tears collected in my eyes—tears of happiness.
I still remember the Parent’s Day that year. Our school had organized a program in which they were about to distribute prizes to the toppers. Barsha was lying in Dad’s lap, Reetu sleeping in Mom’s, and I was sitting on the chair next to Mom, all scared and petrified.
Will they call my name? Am I really getting the trophy? What if they do not call my name? Many questions started running through my head. I was nervous and sweating.
“And here goes the prize for the topper from boys in grade three; multi-talented boy, Sagar Karki!” I heard an announcement made from the stage.
O my God!! It happened; I was declared a multi-talented boy and was called upon the stage to receive the first prize ever in my life in academics. But I could not make a move because I was afraid to go up on the stage.
“What if I go to collect the trophy and they say ‘Sorry, this Sagar is not you’?” I was still doubtful and afraid.
They called my name twice and thrice. Finally, Dad held me in his arms and took me up on the stage. I was colored all red by abir. That day even Krur Singh congratulated me with his delightful words. He then handed me the shining trophy. It was a glory to be honored in front of so many people. Everybody cheered for me.
“One day I will become Leonardo da Vinci,” I proudly said to myself as I received my certificate and a lot of prizes.
[Extracted from his fiction Those Little Secrets.]
[Sagar Karki is a young Nepali novelist. An engineer by profession, he is also engaged in social work, and I the founder of Better Chitawan, a youth organization working in Chitawan District.]
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